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Lawmen

Masterlist - DBH masterlist

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9

Words: 1979

Warnings: drunkenness, self mutilation (involuntarily), self hate, kind of smut (18+)

Chapter 10 - Broken

Gavin shoved his phone to the edge of his desk and pinched the bridge of his nose. Damn it, why did she have to be chosen for an undercover mission with that despicable captain? Why didn't Fowler pick him for this operation? He was fully capable of pretending to be someone else in order to gather the necessary information. After all, he was always playing a role in some way or another, he even did with her for a long time. To be completely honest, not much had changed in that regard. Revealing his true emotions felt like being locked up in a cage with a hungry tiger, and he certainly wasn't the predator in this metaphor. That blasted captain would seize every opportunity to get closer to her – he had to, otherwise he wouldn't have specifically requested her. She was skilled, but she couldn't have been the only competent agent in the Bureau, worst case he could have gotten that jerk Perkins and played lovey-dovey with him to fool the manager. Gavin continued typing his report, reminding himself not to worry so much. She seemed to love him for real and she wouldn't cheat on him and the sooner he finished his work, the sooner he could go home and distract himself with some booze and a good movie until she was back in his arms. There was a harrumph.

"What?!", he exclaimed with frustration evident in his tone.

The person clearly did not appreciate the threatening manner, as his eyes darted upward upon hearing a loud thud.

“What'ya want Hank?”

Hank was an elder superior of his who remained lieutenant despite his personal struggles with alcohol and the tragic loss of his son and. Gavin was not particular fond of him, but Hank held a protective hand over him whenever shit hit the fan and he had a good heart buried beneath layers of sarcasm and alcohol.

"Come on, Reed. You hardly lift a finger around here, but when you do, you always go overboard. Here's a little gift for you", he gestured towards the bottle of aged whiskey he had left on the table, "go home, get drunk and relax," he turned away and headed towards the door, “and don't even start to think I would like you, you're still an idiot.”

Hank weakly waved as he exited the precinct. Gavin stared at the bottle for a moment before shifting his gaze back to the report displayed on his screen. He was nearly finished, so maybe he should take the old fool's advice to heart, write the last part and relax.

“Argh to hell with it!”, he saved his report, switched off his terminal, grabbed the bottle and left.

It was a chilly yet pleasant evening. The soft illumination of the street lamps enveloped the city in a beautiful glow, it would have been a perfect night to walk around with…he sighed, she was with Allen, not with him and it made him feel utterly miserable. No matter what she told him, all he could hear was the sound of his own jealous heart shattering into countless pieces. After walking for a few minutes, he suddenly halted in his tracks and caught a glimpse of his reflection in a shop window. Normally, seeing himself would have filled him with pride and his usual dose of Reed-ish narcissism, but now all he saw was a tear streaming down his suddenly unattractive face. I am an utter idiot, I don't deserve anything, his mind berated him. His gaze then shifted to the bottle in his hand, and a dark realisation washed over him. Without hesitation, he twisted off the bottle cap and swiftly downed its contents in one gulp. Discarding the empty bottle, it crashed onto the ground with a resounding clink as he continued on his way. His vision began to blur, causing his slightly overweight body to wobble unsteadily, as if the floor beneath him

It was a chilly yet pleasant evening. The soft illumination of the street lamps enveloped the city in a beautiful glow, it would have been a perfect night to walk around with…he sighed, she was with Allen, not with him and it made him feel utterly miserable. No matter what she told him, all he could hear was the sound of his own jealous heart shattering into countless pieces. After walking for a few minutes, he suddenly halted in his tracks and caught a glimpse of his reflection in a shop window. Normally, seeing himself would have filled him with pride and his usual dose of Reed-ish narcissism, but now all he saw was a tear streaming down his suddenly unattractive face. I am an utter idiot, I don't deserve anything, his mind berated him. His gaze then shifted to the bottle in his hand, and a dark realisation washed over him. Without hesitation, he twisted off the bottle cap and swiftly downed its contents in one gulp. Discarding the empty bottle, it crashed onto the ground with a resounding clink as he continued on his way. His vision began to blur, causing his slightly overweight body to wobble unsteadily, as if the floor beneath him seemed to wave aggressively. Maybe emptying that liquor in one go was not one his brightest ideas, but he was a complete idiot and a miserable one at that. So who would really expect him to have any ounce of good or clever thoughts? She would...but she was in the company of another man! Forget her! I c-c-can't, I love her!

“Shshshshut up!”, he hammered his fists against his own head.

However, he abruptly stopped when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

She was with another man…after several attempts his phone finally found its way back to his pocket. He stumbled over his own feet, and a vibrant purple light in the distance caught his attention. The Eden Club…that damn awful tin can sex club, where she was or would be soon, arriving in a taxi with that damn captain, probably holding her arm gently, lovingly. He despised him, now more than ever. He had destroyed his entire world, which was her, and he simply took her for this mission. He would show them, both of them. Nobody messes with Gavin Reed, nobody fucks with Gavin's girl. If she wanted to be with the captain, he would prove to her that he would not need neither her nor him ruining everything. After all, he was THE detective. He picked himself up and hurried towards the Eden Club, determined to fuck the brains out of whatever android they would give him. He would show them all that he alone was the alpha male, the one and only. Yes Gavin, do it, come on, you can fuck all you want, you're the best, it echoed hazily through his intoxicated mind. He rushed past the androids on display outside and clumsily swiped his hand on one of the ones in the glass containers in the entrance hall and hurriedly retreated with it into the nearest available room.

"Hello, I am an WR400. How may I assist you?", it spoke in its flawless, lifeless voice.

„Shut up and bend over!“, Gavin slurred harshly.

The android obeyed, as the detective fumbled to pull down his pants and pressed his still slack cock inside its plastic entrance. Deep down, he knew it was wrong, but the effects of the whiskey clouded not only his judgement but also his common sense as he continued thrusting into the WR400, disregarding the fact that he couldn't even get hard. Despite his lack of arousal, he was determined to prove himself to this machine, to show it that he could even bring pleasure to this so called perfect creation and that she would regret leaving for this awful SWAT idiot, oh yes, he would show this tin can, her and the whole world. Gavin continued to thrust at a rapid pace, feeling a twinge of self-disgust but pushing it aside. It didn't feel good at all, not in the slightest. He despised himself, he despised that machine, and above all, he despised the captain even more. How could he have the audacity to steal away the only woman who truly loved him? He was so preoccupied with his obsession to fuck this machine that he failed to notice the door opening, revealing the presence of the manager and two other individuals observing his actions. He remained completely indifferent to everything around him until he suddenly felt a firm grip on the back of his shirt, forcefully spinning him around. Despite his instinctual attempt to pull up his pants and prevent any further embarrassment, his intoxicated state rendered his usually sharp reflexes useless, causing him to fall heavily in front of a stranger, with his pants still lowered and his semi erect cock hitting the floor hard. He writhed in agony, contorting his face and reluctantly gazing up at the person before him, consumed by shame. Normally, he wouldn't two shits if anyone else saw him in this miserable state, but he locked eyes with you – the possessor of the most exquisite eyes he had ever beheld – brimming with sorrow and disappointment as they bore witness to the fall of the great detective Reed, who foolishly sacrificed everything he held dear in a drunken fit of jealousy. His mouth hung open, but no words escaped. I'm sorry , he thought, I'm so sorry and I love you, please forgive me...please kill me. His forehead bashed on the floor, the mess he caused this time was irreversible, this was his fuck up of a lifetime. Hastily, he pulled up his pants, desperate to escape from this place, regretting ever being here in the first place. As he rose to his feet, the liquor tore him down again, his head colliding with the corner of the doorframe. Grunting he steadied himself and moved on, fleeing the club as fast as his intoxication allowed it.

The door of his apartment slammed shut behind him and he slumped to the ground. With each sob, breathing became increasingly difficult. What had he done? It was like he boffed the love of his life right in the face and the only person he could blame for was himself…or perhaps…if that damned android sex club hadn't been in his path, none of this would have happened. Shut up, I alone did this! Gavin pressed his hands against his head, trying to silence the barrage of insults and self-blame echoing in his mind. His gaze fell upon the mirror hanging on the adjacent wall, reflecting a pitiful figure consumed by sorrow. Falling to his knees, he grabbed hold of the mirror and stared into his own despondent eyes.

„Why did I do this? Why did I hurt her, me, that much? I'm a piece of shit!“, he screamed at his reflection.

In a sudden burst of rage, he forcefully smashed his face against the mirror, causing it to shatter into countless fragments. The broken glass sliced through his skin, inflicting pain that was accompanied by his cries and the sound of the shards cascading to the floor. This cacophony of despair filled the dimly lit apartment, resonating with Gavin's shattered and bleeding heart. As he glanced upwards, a manic laughter escaped his lips, amplified by the absence of his reflection. The laughter reverberated sadly throughout the room, while a warm trickle of blood flowed down his face. A deep gash marked the bridge of his nose, destined to become a visible reminder of this night for the remainder of his existence. He never was a delight to others, but this was the night Gavin Reed finally broke his love and himself, the night that gave birth to the most miserable and awful douchebag the precinct would get to know.

Chapter 11